I Like Big Butts - Love Your Body

“I like big butts and I cannot lie…”

People often talk about being fat shamed, but skinny shaming is often overlooked. It’s not acceptable to call people fat, so why is it ok to call someone skinny with a disgusted, judgemental expression?  It’s not. But many do.  

My friends and I always joke "Aw, poor little skinny girl". I enjoy making light of it now that I've learnt to love my body, but there are impressionable young teens out there who aren't laughing. Negative comments about the way someone looks are actually about the person saying them, but until we know better, we take it on.

When I was young I was lucky enough not to suffer from anorexia or bulimia like many other girls in their teens, but I did have anxiety and therefore burnt more calories standing still than most people do running a marathon. For those who want to lose weight this might sound like your dream, but I can assure you, it's not. The self loathing you feel for your body is the same as the body shame I felt. 

I didn’t want to be skinny.  I wanted to be voluptuous like Marylin Monroe.  I wanted a full figure, “like a real woman” as everyone would say, but no matter how little exercise I did or how many McDonalds hamburgers I ate, my body refused to put on weight!  

And I tried everything!... 

I hid bags of chocolate bars in my closet and ate several a day, I added extra butter on top of already buttered popcorn, at times I ate so much fast food I could have starred in Supersize Me! I excitedly counted my calories, making sure I consumed enough per day to tip the scales...  But not only did I not put on weight... I got cellulite!  

As I braved a swim suit at a public pool with pasty winter skin one day a friend said: “I wouldn’t have thought someone as skinny as you would have cellulite!”.  Hmmm, not quite the look I was going for.  

In my late teens the contraceptive pill provided my first chance at curves, and I loved it! I’d go to the doctor and say “Give me the pill that puts on weight!”.  I had boobs and a booty!  I was shakin’ it like JLo and singin’ “Ma milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…”!  

In my early 20’s I had a doctors appointment which should have burst my voluptuous bubble.  I was told that I had to have surgery to remove abnormal cells in my uterus that were dangerously close to cancer and if I didn’t change my lifestyle, they were likely to grow back after surgery.

The word cancer scared me, but obviously not enough, because after the surgery I continued to smoke cigarettes and take the pill (the two main culprits according to the doctor) for another 7 years.  

It wasn't until I took the Landmark Forum at the age of  26, where I learnt about limiting beliefs. And I discovered that the reason I was so obsessed with trying to keep weight on was because in high school I perceived that people liked me less for being skinny. I'd let that belief subconsciously rule me all those years. 

I was poisoning my body to avoid being skinny shamed. I was essentially risking my life to be accepted. 

As soon as I was conscious of this limiting belief I was able to get to work on shifting it (with the help of a life coach).  And after 10 years of trashing my body with enough hormones to turn my butt into a hot air balloon, I was finally able to put my health first and learn to love and accept my body exactly as it is. 

Always.  With no exception.  

So that meant going off the pill, it meant enjoying exercise for the first time in my life without the fear that I would lose too much weight.  It meant loving my skinny, lanky, flat chested body if that was my destiny.  

It wasn't a straight road, it was a curvy, continuous one that I'm still travelling on. Working on myself in this way allowed me to transform my mindset so that my external voluptuous body fixation was replaced by an inner self love and acceptance that is more fulfilling than a DD bra cup.  

Don't get me wrong, I can still admire a voluptuous physique and think “You go girl!”, but it’s no longer at the expense of my own self love.  And although my weight fluctuates, my acceptance of it does not.  

I worked hard for years to like my body as it is, to like myself just as I am, and I smile when people try to tell me to put on weight or that I’m too skinny, or that "men prefer women with more meat on them", with more curves, because I spent so long believing their words and now I see things differently. 

I believe that real men* like women who feel good about themselves no matter what shape or size their body is.  Real men fall in love with your heart and your soul, not your booty or bra size.  
Real love is based on life-long friendship, not temporary desire.  And the more we learn to love ourselves, the better shot we have at finding that kind of love… the unconditional, unwavering kind.

“…Baby got back.”

* or women


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